in Relationship and Self Improvement

The 10 Commandments of Dating.

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Dating is difficult. I know first hand how dating can be a wild ride. Based on my experience, here are 10 rules for the first date that I follow religiously. These are my 10 commandments for the first date.

Tame your jitters. This is the best method to be comfortable on the first date. Remember that this is just a first date. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself thinking about where the relationship is going. One of the easiest ways to get thrown off balance is to worry about what the heck your date thinks of you. You should be evaluating your date! Pay attention to what he’s saying so that you’ll be able to decide…if he is worthy of you.

Be mysterious. Even if you feel very comfortable with your date and feel like you can talk to him about anything, keep a bit of mystery about you. He doesn’t need to know your whole life story on the first date.

Be open to someone who doesn’t fit your usual profile of the perfect man. Don’t be too picky on the first date. I know that we all have our “dream man” pictured in our head. “He must be over six feet five.” “If he doesn’t make at least a million a year, I won’t meet him.” “I don’t date Scorpios or Virgos.” “I would never date an attorney.” Be a tad bit more open-minded, and you may discover that a 5’9″ man is a lot easier to access for smooching, or that the Scorpio who you just gave a chance to has a Libra moon and has you over the moon in love. Or that handsome young attorney that you almost turned down is suddenly making a great case on why he’s such a great catch! 

Wear something feminine and classy on the first date. Stiletto heels, a mini skirt and your cleavage spilling out all over so that the poor guy can’t even maintain eye contact is not a way to make a good impression on a first date. Did you realize that a man analyzes a woman on a first date, picturing whether he would take her to a business function or to meet his friends or family?

Be a good listener. This is an important rule on the first date. A man loves to talk about himself and his accomplishments, but then again, who doesn’t? He needs to know that you are interested in him. If you just go on and on about yourself, showing no interest in him, he will come to the conclusion that you are self-centered and not want to see you again.

Be careful how much alcohol you consume on a first date. This can be quite dangerous because you will probably let at least a few things slip from your ever so slightly lipstick-smudged lips that you will definitely regret manana! You also run the risk of engaging in frisky and rather risky behavior on a first date that you normally would save for much later in the relationship. Don’t disobey this rule on the first date or the chances of a second date can disappear.

Avoid talking about astrology and past lives. The guy will probably think that you are strange and flaky. So reserve that topic for discussions with your girlfriends.

If you are desperate to have a baby!Pleeeeeeeease do not bring up this subject, even if your last egg is about to drop! Perhaps you’ve waited too long to start a family and now are in a panic and looking for the future father of your child with more determination than the U.S. forces hunting Osama Bin Laden! But you are on a first date with a man. You want a comfortable first date with no pressure. He does not want or need that pressure. He doesn’t even know if he wants a second date with you, let alone whether he’ll want to father your children!

Keep up on current events. I can’t tell you how many times a gentleman has mentioned to me that he is looking for a lady who is intelligent and can hold a stimulating conversation. A man wants to know that you can hold your own if he takes you to a business affair. 

Avoid answering your cell phone during dinner. This is a real turn-off and might be the number one rule on the first date. Here the poor guy is trying to impress you and show you a good time. Please turn off your cell phone, your pager, your Blackberry, and give this wonderful gentleman your full attention for the evening.

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