An Open Letter To My Past and Present Self
Dear Past and Present Lhyzie,
The past couple of years have been a roller coaster ride. The past years was filled with tears, heartbreak, and struggles, but a lot of learning. You have been hurt and crushed countless and even though wanted to give up to end everything, you still keep on fighting. A lot has happened in the past 365 days. You made a variety of memories – some good and some bad. A number of life lessons have also been acquired, along with hard-hitting realizations, most of which you learned from the rough patches you’ve encountered. Despite all of this. you managed to reach this point of your life – the mark of a new hope, a new beginning. Goodbye 2019, I have to let you go and thank you for all your lessons.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. – Colossians 3:15
Hello 2020! I pray that it will be a year full of Gratitude. To appreciate everything even the simplest thing. This year, I vow for a journey filled with happiness and a grateful heart. I know it won’t always be welcoming, but I also know that bad always compensates with good, and it’s important that I keep my mind set on positivity.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13
This 2020, I pray for me to walk with God by faith instead of by sight – to let go and let God come through. I will allow Him to guide me through the unknown. Through the good and the bad I will trust Him even though I don’t understand the reason and even I am hurting. I will wait and keep on waiting. Waiting for what is meant to be, waiting on His timing, waiting on His calling to go forth. A total surrender to our father above.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8
This 2020, I pray that I will learn how to forgive. To forgive those who gave up on me no matter how hard It was to not give up on them. Forgive those people who I given a hundred of chance but still disappoint me in the end. To slowly let go of the past that remains haunting and hurting to me. To let go of the failures, the regrets, the hatred. I have been blindfolded with the pain that I’m feeling for the past couple of years and I didn’t realized that it’s already changing me to whom I am not.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way. – Isaiah 43:18-19
This 2020, I pray that I will know that I am more than what has happened to me, I am more than my pursuits, I am more than what people may say about me and I am more than my past. That I have the right to change and change for the better version of myself. And no one have the right to judge me because of my past even my own family and relatives.
She is more precious than rubies, nothing you desire can compare with her. – Proverbs 3:15
This 2020, I pray that I will learn to treat and love myself the same love I give to others. I pray that I will learn the balance, of giving and receiving love. I pray to find the courage to let go of people who simply refuse to see my worth and all of the wonderful things that make me who I am. I pray that this year, I don’t settle for anything less.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6
This 2020, I pray that I release myself from my own insecurities and fears. I pray that I don’t miss out on wonderful opportunities or big breaks just because I’m scared or I don’t feel like I am enough or I don’t feel like I could make it. I hope to start the new year looking at life differently and looking at myself differently. I hope this is the year I feel capable of achieving everything I ever wanted.
So to you, my past self, I am sorry I didn’t love you in the way you deserved to be loved — but 2020 is going to be my year. With all of these things, I should acknowledge that self-love is the most important thing in this world, because if you fall and your life crumbles, the only person who will never leave you is YOU.
With all the love a heart can hold,